A loud bang on the bedroom door shocks me into a state of hyper-awokness. Like any millennial, my first instinct is to check my phone. Lying next to me in bed it is the closest thing to a lover and…
Category: Funny
Wants and Needs: and the Smack Operator
(Instead of Music: Confusion) In a panic, I woke up with one thought, and one thought only: “I need to get my retirement pension in order!“ Out of all the absurd things I wake to, this was the ultimate cookie…
The lost and found section at the hospital
There are condoms in bowls absolutely everywhere. It is the first sign that everything is not quite according to standard practice. My second sign is the gay poster of two men kissing and a coffee machine proclaiming a gay-positive message.…
Hitting not quite The Rock’s bottom
(Published at a later date than it was written.) Today a bird shat on me. The yellow goo smeared itself out of nowhere all over my arm as though a reassuring pat from the universe telling me it will all…
The Fantastic Four on a romantic (but not really) weekend away
While holding on to the stressed-out kitten Pixel, Fire is in a calm yet somewhat high-pitched tone screaming google maps directions to Earth from her phone. In lack of a cat, Water is instead holding on to her car seat…
A Penis Dog
and Our Failures to See what Others See The other day I saw a woman with a tattoo on the back of her arm. It looked unmistakable and inescapably like a penis. I’m not kidding, not even stretching the truth…
(Beta version:) Oh Brother, where art thou?
Author’s note: This is the first version of one of the short stories taking part in Lost Little Robots. As it was one of the first to be written it no longer fits into the whole collection (also, I don’t…
Right swipe left things feeling rather wrong: Recalling my one and only Tinder experience
“Too crazy for me, I guess,” was his last text and while I was tempted to answer “oh boy, you have no idea, mohaha” I didn’t bother to reply and just like that my one and only Tinder experience turned…
The mystery of the missing socks: a sort of love story for the misfits
We have all been there. Laundry has been done, and after tirelessly matching all the socks, only two are left and they clearly do not to belong together. It makes no sense, yet it happens all the time. Anne was…
The time I was mistaken for a prostitute in Dublin
Yesterday evening I had a WTF?! experience of completely outrageous proportions. I was mistaken for a prostitute. Now, you probably thinking that I was wearing my usual miniskirts, high heels and maybe my oh-so-cool black hat (which would be no…