[[Author’s warning: This story contain a pretty dark sense of humour that may not appeal to everyone.]] Blinding light… Excruciating pain… Silent darkness… Illuminating hope… A buff man… …? __ “Ah! Man… I’ll never get used to how you guys…
Category: Funny
Marrying the wrong person
On YouTube, I’ve had a reoccurring recommendation. It has the title: Why you will end up marrying the wrong person. It’s a quasi-philosophical talk by someone somewhat important that I care nought for, but each time I see it under…
Kryptonite-me this!
Despite a love for dark mint chocolate, I have always preferred my men nougaty. Perhaps surprising then that my all-time favourite superhero is Superman. It might seem like a cliché, that the “don’t-blast-me-with-kryptonite-perfection” that is Superman would the obvious choice…
So long, and thanks for all the fish
A loud bang on the bedroom door shocks me into a state of hyper-awokness. Like any millennial, my first instinct is to check my phone. Lying next to me in bed it is the closest thing to a lover and…
Wants and Needs: and the Smack Operator
(Instead of Music: Confusion) In a panic, I woke up with one thought, and one thought only: “I need to get my retirement pension in order!“ Out of all the absurd things I wake to, this was the ultimate cookie…
The lost and found section at the hospital
There are condoms in bowls absolutely everywhere. It is the first sign that everything is not quite according to standard practice. My second sign is the gay poster of two men kissing and a coffee machine proclaiming a gay-positive message.…
Hitting not quite The Rock’s bottom
(Published at a later date than it was written.) Today a bird shat on me. The yellow goo smeared itself out of nowhere all over my arm as though a reassuring pat from the universe telling me it will all…
The Fantastic Four on a romantic (but not really) weekend away
While holding on to the stressed-out kitten Pixel, Fire is in a calm yet somewhat high-pitched tone screaming google maps directions to Earth from her phone. In lack of a cat, Water is instead holding on to her car seat…
A Penis Dog
and Our Failures to See what Others See The other day I saw a woman with a tattoo on the back of her arm. It looked unmistakable and inescapably like a penis. I’m not kidding, not even stretching the truth…
(Beta version:) Oh Brother, where art thou?
Author’s note: This is the first version of one of the short stories taking part in Lost Little Robots. As it was one of the first to be written it no longer fits into the whole collection (also, I don’t…