[[Author’s warning: This story contain a pretty dark sense of humour that may not appeal to everyone.]] Blinding light… Excruciating pain… Silent darkness… Illuminating hope… A buff man… …? __ “Ah! Man… I’ll never get used to how you guys…
A boat lost at sea
When I was eight I wrote a story of an anthropomorphic boat that travelled around the world’s waters. As it visited place after place, it grew increasingly lonely and started to look for another boat to keep it company. But…
Marrying the wrong person
On YouTube, I’ve had a reoccurring recommendation. It has the title: Why you will end up marrying the wrong person. It’s a quasi-philosophical talk by someone somewhat important that I care nought for, but each time I see it under…
Kryptonite-me this!
Despite a love for dark mint chocolate, I have always preferred my men nougaty. Perhaps surprising then that my all-time favourite superhero is Superman. It might seem like a cliché, that the “don’t-blast-me-with-kryptonite-perfection” that is Superman would the obvious choice…
So long, and thanks for all the fish
A loud bang on the bedroom door shocks me into a state of hyper-awokness. Like any millennial, my first instinct is to check my phone. Lying next to me in bed it is the closest thing to a lover and…
“You spin me right ’round, baby right ’round” … and I’m getting dizzy
As we are approaching the arbitrary point on the earth’s orbit that someone or other determined would define the distinct border between an end and a beginning, I’m listening to Marilyn Manson’s latest album (it’s well above expectations) and, for…
The way the cookie crumbles?
The cookie I’d chosen for my coffee is beyond dry and the flavourless crumbles left an uncomfortable drought in my mouth that made it hard to speak. I was having coffee with a man I’d met at the gym. He…
Grandma Chic and the Illusion of Choice
The walls are painted in that pale shade of pink that is as non-committal as a lover who calls at 21.30 on a Saturday night. From the theatre black ceiling, industrial lamps and rescued lampshades from the salvation army hangs…
Wants and Needs: and the Smack Operator
(Instead of Music: Confusion) In a panic, I woke up with one thought, and one thought only: “I need to get my retirement pension in order!“ Out of all the absurd things I wake to, this was the ultimate cookie…
The ocean train station
In the middle of some ocean somewhere forgotten, there is a train station. The wet landscape surrounds the waiting hall and its seven platforms are only just so slightly raised above a water surface that hides the iron tracks beneath.…