The battery is on red.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Warning: energy level low. All non-life-sustaining systems on standby. Blood flow, lung expansion decompression, synapses, heartbeat, beat, beat, be-at, be-aht, de-aht, de-daht, du-damt, du-dum, du-dum…
Am I sick or just exhausted? Am I exhausted or just in the wrong?
Shoved in between a rock and a hard place, I can’t tell. I recall once upon a time not knowing the difference. I guess I didn’t learn much after all.
There is something truly empowering about anger. Yet it’s so pointless. Why overturn the tables in the temple (Matthew 21:12-17) when the temple is built with the money lying on the tables? Building a tower of Babylon, not to best God but to look down on the rest of humanity.
There is something unattainable about the truly holy. Being a child of God sent here for perfect peaceful retribution can never truly compare to the honest expression of the generation of vipers (Matthew 12:34). Evil reactions ready to battle for any perceived injustice, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
Yet, justice must be the biggest lie of biology, psychology, sociology, theology, and whateverology. I once recall hearing a mother on a bus or metro or some other low-key public transport answer her child’s “that’s not fair” with a “there is no justice in the world.” It was one of the most responsible things I’ve heard in my life.
Now my battery is blinking in the same red as my boxing gloves. Tiiiimber!!! I’m falling down knocked out or simply burned out.
Du-dum, du-dum, beat. Beaten…