You cannot win. It is not because there is no competition, because sure as hell there is competition, and frankly very little else. It’s also not because the game is rigged; naturally it is rigged. But that is not why…
Pausa or the lack of light at the end of the tunnel
It’s been a difficult couple of weeks. Weeks that had no right to be difficult, but ended up being so anyway. There is something reassuring in the busy, overworked periods of the academic semesters. Running from lecture rooms to Zoom…
Mend
Everybody wants something from you. The abstract desires and explicit wishes from those around us stretch us in all directions into a broken quilt. Tearing up at the seams. Those carefully sewn stitches protruding between the patches made to repair…
Second-hand:ing yourself
Out of town yet home, and my heart, body, brain, soul-drenched toast waffles of skin betray me in the subconscious convolutions of the dream space. Bittersweet delusions of that ridiculous outrage that leave me tingling and guilty and shamed and…
A box too small
Is it ever possible to bring to life a wet firecracker? Can damp and destroyed fireworks ever be ignited to perform with that explosive beauty? Life took me to many places. One thing I told myself many years ago was “always…
Entwined determinism
I am an avid believer that there is no greater purpose to everything other than what we and others create out of it. Everything is a learning experience – if you allow it to be. Everything is connected – due…
Academia is killing me…
… soon I’m pulling the plug or, I guess, it will be pulled for me. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Impoving one’s job situation in…
Choose your battles
The battery is on red. Beep. Beep. Beep. Warning: energy level low. All non-life-sustaining systems on standby. Blood flow, lung expansion decompression, synapses, heartbeat, beat, beat, be-at, be-aht, de-aht, de-daht, du-damt, du-dum, du-dum… Am I sick or just exhausted? Am…
Rocking Ape: Fire Tiger and Metal Horse
The water rocks the boat as though running aground, only it never sinks. Above the surface, the boat floats heavy on an ocean without horizon. On the boat rocks an ape. Peacefully meditating a world into existence. In the world…
Something to hold on to…
…in the fall from grace. Despite life’s irregular and chaotic nature, I’ve searched for something to hold on to throughout my existence. Not quite an anchor to hold me down, but a sail to provide direction. Recently, I met up…